Relationships

Should You Go Ring Shopping Together?

I knew it was coming, but when Conor asked what I wanted my ring to look like, it didn’t really feel real. And my answer of “round or cushion with a plain or diamond band–just surprise me and I’ll say yes!” didn’t do it for him.

I can’t blame the guy for wanting to look at rings together since I’m really indecisive and have a lot of opinions. So we looked at rings together and the whole process was exciting and a little surreal. In the end, I didn’t feel pulled toward one shape vs the other, and shocker–actually ended up liking princess cut making things even more confusing.

The decision was finally made and even though I knew it would be round with a plain band and actually saw the proposal coming, I was still so surprised. I’m glad I knew I’d love it but there’s that part of me that loves the idea of being surprised as long as it didn’t result in a Carrie/Aidan situation.

Did you or would you go ring shopping together? What’s your favorite engagement ring style?

  • schuelove

    It’s such a big investment, I think it’s important to go ring shopping together, at least to narrow down options.

  • Elizabeth Hall

    My husband was the same way. We actually went ring shopping when talk of marriage first came up, about 18 months before the actual proposal. Although we knew we wanted to get married at some point, we decided to go “ring looking” before we were both ready for the actual question to be popped and I’m so glad we did. It actually removed a lot of the pressure and made the process more fun than stressful because I didn’t spend the following months daydreaming and being suspicious of what was coming. I just stood there while he picked out several different styles and told him generally what I liked and didn’t like about the various rings. He chose what he liked best and did a great job keeping it a secret. It was perfect because we were both confident that he’d pick the right ring based on our very early shopping trips, but it was still a surprise since I didn’t know for sure what it would look like. When the proposal actually came it totally took me by surprise. I wouldn’t have changed a thing and I absolutely love the way it ended up.

  • Emily

    I got engaged earlier this year and we went ring shopping together before the proposal. It was such a fun experience to do together and I’m so happy we did it. I ended up liking/going with a completely different ring style than I thought I wanted and knowing my fiance’s budget helped me with certain design/style choices as well. Buying an engagement ring is such a huge investment and I think shopping or looking at rings together before the proposal is critical. I’d recommend it to all couples who are considering marriage.

    And real talk: I know a couple girls whose engagement rings were a surprise to them (i.e. they didn’t look at rings together or talk to their fiances ahead of time) and they don’t like their engagement rings at all for various reasons. Hate for this to happen to either person in the relationship, so ladies and gents, please do your research!

  • We didn’t go ring shopping together, but did talk about ring styles a lot. I knew that I would most likely end up with a princess cut because it is a nickname I have. He really wanted to pick something out for me and it to be a surprise. While I probably would not have picked the ring I have at first, I honestly love it!! He is really good about knowing what I like, sometimes even before I do.

  • Kara McElroy

    We went together! I, like you, am very particular so after a friend suggested we shop together, my fiance slowly gave in. I was not sure what cut I wanted either and tried to get my fiance to weigh in a bit while deciding on the stone and band. I ended up with a cushion cut and plain band – something I knew would always be timeless and as it turned out, my fiance preferred the plain band, which made it feel more like a joint decision. Said fiance ended up waiting three months to propose but I do not feel that shopping together took anything away from the experience. The proposal was a huge surprise and just as wonderful as if I had been surprised with a ring. It’s a huge purchase for a guy and one that carries a lot of pressure. While I realize it’s not traditional and almost seems a tad unromantic, I think it’s a wise and modern move depending on the couple. It also shows some guts on the guy’s part since he’s willing to raise his hand and ask for help. My fiance still says how happy he is we shopped together and that he wouldn’t do things differently.

  • Katie Marshall

    I loved going ring shopping together, especially because it made the anticipation and surprise of when it actually did happen even better!

  • Janine

    We didn’t go together to pick out my actual ring, but he did ambush me when we were in Macy’s once. He dragged me to the jewelry area and had me point out the styles that I liked, I tried some on (which was super weird with the Macy’s security guy watching us reallllllly closely) and talked about size/shape/band until he was comfortable that he understood what I liked and what I didn’t like. When he was ready to propose, he went to a jeweler down on Wabash and had a ring designed that fit what we had talked about.

    • Molly

      I’ve heard good things about the jewelers down on Wabash, did your fiancée/husband have a good experience as well?

      • Janine

        Hi Molly! He went to Windy City Diamonds, and he seemed pleased with the process, especially since he asked them for a tighter time frame than they would normally use. We’ve decided that we will go back there for our wedding bands as well!

  • We rent ring shopping too! I gave him a general idea of what I wanted and what to stay away from. In the end I was really surprised with the proposal and thrilled with the ring design 🙂

  • Christina Daniel

    We went ring shopping because what I liked and what he liked were very different. Since he still wanted it to be a surprise, he had me pick 3 that I loved and he got to pick the final one. Then he made me wait and surprised me by proposing when I least expected it on Christmas (which he swore was totally not his style). 😉

  • Kati Boldt

    I’ve always wanted it to be a complete surprise but we ended up “shopping” together. I’ve basically known for a while now what I wanted and luckily a good friend of ours has parents who are jewelers and I was able to basically design my ring exactly how I wanted. That being said, it’s up to him to choose the final size of the diamond and I have no idea when it’s all going down so it’s still kind of a pretty big surprise!

  • Grace Niu Avila

    My now husband says it’s hard to shop for me, and he also struggles a bit with picking the right item, so I sent him two links of rings that I liked and told him to choose one 🙂 So we didn’t go together in person, but just to help him out I gave him those two suggestions. It ended up being good that I did that because I wanted something slightly more unique and that probably would have been difficult for him to know!

  • I don’t see the harm in ring shopping together but I was VERY clear on what I wanted, simple band, emerald cut stone so at least that made it easier for him!

  • Amanda Palecek

    I generally don’t like surprises, and an engagement ring is no exception. I think ring shopping together is a great idea! A ring is such an investment for men, and it’s something that a woman will have to wear everyday (for the rest of her life). I am so thankful that my boyfriend is on board with choosing a ring together.

  • Mary

    My husband and I went ring shopping together and I’m so glad we did. We both learned a lot about diamonds and rings in general. There were also a few styles that I loved on Pinterest and did not like on my hand, and a few styles that he was drawn to. I was still absolutely shocked when he proposed and I had no idea he had even purchased a ring!

  • Mel

    My ring was 100% a surprise, and my (now) fiancé did a fantastic job! I’m in love with it. I asked him initially if he wanted to shop together, and he actually said no because he wanted it to be a surprise that I wouldn’t see coming. So, I told him what styles I liked a couple of years ago. (Cushion or round, thin diamond band, halo). He told me when he went to shop around, he explained to the jeweler the exact OPPOSITE because he had forgotten what I liked! He called my best friend for some advice, and luckily she knew my favorites. He took most of her advice, but added his own taste to it, which I’m so happy about. It’s been 7 months since he proposed and I still can’t get over it when I look down at it.

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