Personal

Why I’m Sad for Our Country

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I woke up to endless texts from friends and scrolled through Facebook to see post after post about heartbreak and fear. And with tears in my eyes, I tried to process what just happened to our country. As a woman, small business owner, and someone who hopes to be a mother someday–and as a friend and human being– I can’t not say something. This isn’t about democrat v. republican. This is about human rights. Tolerance. Acceptance. Kindness. Love.

I talked about the fact that I didn’t vote for Hillary because she’s a woman. I also didn’t vote for her because she’s a democrat. I voted for the better candidate and was confident that our nation would do the same. Voting for her meant standing against racism, misogyny, and hate.

Today I am sad, ashamed, and afraid to be in a country where hate seemed to prevail. Good men don’t say the things he’s said. They respect women. They love those who are different. I genuinely believe Hillary cared about our country and everyone in it, and felt optimistic about what the next four years would look like with her as our leader.

This doesn’t feel real.

It is my hope that in the years to come, we will all stand together, against hate and for love, peace, tolerance, equality, and acceptance. That we’ll all treat each other with respect, be kind to one another, and love everyone regardless of their religious beliefs, the color of their skin, or who they love.

He may have won this election, but human rights are still women’s rights, and gay rights are still human rights. We’re still stronger together, and love still trumps hate. Hanging on to those words today, the next 4 years, and always.

  • I understand and I don’t think you or anyone voted wrong. But I don’t think it’s right to say your ashamed of our country. We voted for what we believed. No one should be ashamed. I will tell you why I voted. I voted for the men who did not survive in Benghazi. I voted for the men who called and asked for help and Hilary never sent it.

    • Gabby T

      Ugh! Stop repeating this lie! It’s FACTUALLY UNTRUE. Stop hiding behind it because you don’t want to admit that Trump’s terrible message spoke to you. Just STOP.

      • What about Hilary taking money from countries that hate gays and women? I see nothing wrong with voting for Hilary. That’s your right. We live in a great country where you can do that. The countries she takes money from. You wouldn’t have that right.

        • Gabby T

          We could list the countless ways Trump has shown he is unfit to be President and all the ways he has sought to divide this nation and all you would be able to repeat back is the same Fox News talking points: Benghazi. Clinton Foundation. emails. That’s all you have. Because you don’t want to admit that Trump’s hatred speaks to the core of who YOU are as a person. You are completely delusional. But that is your right. Why don’t you take it to a site where people agree with you instead of this one?

          • I haven’t said one mean thing. You have. I voiced my opinion and you have called me mean things. That speaks volumes.

          • Gabby T

            You didn’t voice an opinion – you said something that was demonstrably FALSE. Opinions don’t become facts because you wish them to be so.

          • Frances

            Those pesky facts! Always getting in the way.

  • I actually called out of work today bc I was nervous to leave my home. I’m a Black, Southern Woman.. I knew racism existed at an all time high, but even I was shocked that he actually won. It shows the wounds in this country to everyone who denied they were there… I hope it sparks change. Also, as somber as it may seem, please don’t let man ever dictate your day or your mood. People are fickle. Find that peace within <3

    India | booksandbighair.com

    • I hope this sparks change too. I’m so sad for our country and it breaks my heart that you were nervous to leave your home today. We’re still stronger together. Have to hold on to those words.

  • Christan

    If you are afraid or ashamed to be in this country, by all means, please leave, and don’t let the door hit your self-righteous ass on the way out.

    • Frances

      Self righteous? That seems to be the pot calling the kettle black. Let me guess, you are a member of the one group that Trump and Pence don’t want to marginalize.

    • You can love your country and still be disappointed in it and want it to be better.

    • Stephanie

      If you are afraid to read about other people’s opinions, or god forbid, believe that there are other opinions out there other than your own, by all means, please DON’T read this post, and don’t worry, we won’t miss you when you don’t come back.

  • katherine

    Danielle thank you for putting into words what I’ve been feeling all morning. I am sad for our country and yes, I am ashamed. Ashamed that fear and hate seem to have won this election. A vote for Trump is a vote for misogyny, racism, bigotry and hate. There is no justifying it.

  • Frances

    Danielle, thanks so much for posting this. I am still in shock that people actually voted for misogyny, homophobia and racism. The next few years are going to be very difficult.

    And to Nora, you don’t seem to be aware that it was the Republicans who cut the security budget for Benghazi. Perhaps you should do some research.

    • So you don’t do anything in your power to save them. Sure Frances. Also I’m sure Hilary could have used her own Clinton foundation money. The money she gets from countries who hate gays.

      • Frances

        Nora, that is not how the government works. When the Republicans cut the security budget for Benghazi, Hillary could not just get the money from her foundation to cover the shortfall. When the budget is cut that is it. Again, do some research. Furthermore, when the budget is being cut left and right starting in January, do you think Donald will be reaching into his foundations coffers to cover that money? Oh right, he can’t. The NYS Attorney General ordered the foundation to cease and desist fundraising because they were not registered to do so in the state. Perhaps you should get your information from someplace other than Fox News.

        • Gabby T

          Thank you Frances. So much willful ignorance out there.

          • Frances

            It’s shocking. I just don’t understand it.

        • Your opinion is yours. Again I see nothing wrong with it. I actually was a huge Hilary support when she ran against Obama. But I couldn’t this time around.
          My initial post was just about not being ashamed. We live in a great Country. Just remember that. We are all very lucky. Regardless if the election goes or way.

          • Frances

            Hillary not being able to make up government shortfalls with her own money is not an opinion, it’s a fact. Facts don’t change just because you don’t like them.
            And, a lot of people in this country are about to become very unlucky, including possibly yourself. Your candidate is no friend to women and neither is his running mate.

  • I love you. Thank you for being bold and brave and speaking your mind. <3 We will get through this together by committing to be loving, empathic and fiercely standing up against injustice.

  • Rachel Machen

    I am a woman that has worked 60+hour/weeks since day one of my career for over 10 years and I have clawed every inch up in my career. I’ve been sexually harassed by numerous male bosses. I’ve watched men get paid twice my salary for the same job. I’ve been passed over for promotions because I don’t play golf. I keep my infertility journey top secret from my coworkers in fear that one whisper of the word, “baby” will derail all my hard work throughout the years in my career. I’ve seen it all and I can assure you, there is nobody that wants to see a woman break the glass ceiling more than me. I hope to one day have a daughter who never deals with the man’s world I’ve spent my career fighting. I hope to be a part of the group of women who break the ceiling. I hope to show a younger generation of girls that they can do whatever they want with their careers AND fulfill their desires to have a family. So believe, me I hear all the women out there that are sad. We all want that change. But there is another piece of that puzzle. I am also the woman that was never handed anything in my career. I clawed my way to the top-tooth and nail. I endured criticisms and was called names that men like to say about strong willed independent women. But each step of the way in my career-I did it ethically and honestly. I’ve made mistakes along the way and don’t claim to be perfect, but I can look back and truthfully say that where I am today is a bi-product of my own blood, sweat and tears mixed in with at ton of grit and strictly ethical behavior. I want to break the ceiling-but in a way that is honorable. I want my hard work to be the reason I sit in the boardroom -not because I manipulated and lied and cheated. I am not a misogynst. I am not racist. I’m not a bigot and I absolutely do not stand for hate. I stand for my own moral convictions. I firmly believe that hard work and honesty are paramount to most everything else in the business world. She only has half of the equation-honesty is nowhere to be found with her. So that is why SHE did not get my vote. If I wouldn’t hire her for my team, why on earth would I hire her to rule my country? Women, hear me out. When we break the ceiling-let’s do that in a way that can never be disputed or put down. Let’s do that with women of great character who have made sacrifices to make this nation a better place for other women. Let’s rally together and not settle for anything less than sensational.

    • Ceci

      If Hillary didn’t get your vote you either didn’t vote, voted for Trump, or voted for a third party candidate. Trump lies, cheats, and was given everything on a silver spoon. Gary and Jill are clearly not qualified candidates. Based on your logic, there’s no way you could have voted for any of those folks so you must not have voted.

      • Rachel Machen

        What difference does it make in regards who I did vote for-the purpose of my comment was to explain why I did not vote for Hillary. The dialog I hear is consistently from her supporters “How could anyone would choose to NOT vote for her” and when I hear that, I think it is only fair to answer the question-at least from my perspective. Ask and you shall receive.

        If you believe that all of Trump’s success is all due strictly to his inheritance, you would have to apply the same logic to millions of other Americans whose parents provided them with the education needed to progress to a successful future. Isn’t that the American dream-to work hard, provide your children with a life better than yours and give them the ability to build one even better? Seems a bit extreme to claim that his inheritance built the empire he has developed over the years. Startups receive funding-but the majority fail. The ones that succeed are due to hard work, strategic planning and most important EXECUTING the plans in a way positions the company to be the best in the market-or competitive at least. Just because they bootstrapped and got funding doesn’t mean they didn’t put in the work to get that funding and develop the company to be successful.

        Hang up the typical rhetoric directed to anyone who doesn’t think exactly like you. This is not a black and white/cut and dry scenario. We’re talking about people’s personal convictions and lives here-I can be a liberal conservative if I want because that is how my heart sees the world. It is OKAY that people have different perspectives-that’s what makes America great.

        • Hi Rachel,

          I really appreciate your thoughtful reply and commend you on all you’ve accomplished. I am all about hard work and like you, didn’t have a perfect career path waiting for me after college. That said, I wanted to reply, not to start a debate, but to further explain my side.

          Trump has lied (this has been proven, he isn’t a noble or honorable businessman (also proven), and isn’t a “successful” businessman. If you look at HRC’s career path, I feel that it’s pretty clear that she cares about our nation and the people living in it while he does not.

          http://www.wsj.com/articles/donald-trumps-business-plan-left-a-trail-of-unpaid-bills-1465504454

          http://fortune.com/2015/08/20/donald-trump-index-funds/

          Hillary may not be perfect–no one is. But she has experience and is qualified to run our country. When asked about Policy, Trump dodged every single question. He said he’d replace Obamacare with “something terrific” and that he’d “make America great again” without any explanation.

          Then there’s the way he views basically everyone who isn’t a white male. And I just can’t support someone who has so much hate and disrespect for someone because of their skin color, religion, or sex. Electing him validates his words and actions, and that is why I’m ashamed of what has happened. So while respect not giving Hillary your vote, not voting her her or simply not voting at all (not implying that you didn’t vote but many didn’t) meant a vote for him.

          Again, not trying to start a debate and completely respect that we have different beliefs. Just letting you know where I’m coming from.

          • Very well said Danielle and I agree 100%.

          • It’s a tough subject and it’s (clearly) easy for people to get worked up. I just hope I did a decent job of explaining my side. Couldn’t not say something.

  • spends2much

    Thanks for posting this. It (sadly) takes courage, when you must know the vitriol that will flow in the comments. But at least you have Buddy’s adorable face to look at! 🙂

    • All other issues aside, as a woman and person who cares about human rights, I couldn’t not say something.

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