All Alone on Christmas

It’s my first Christmas alone in ten years. I was in a relationship from 19-28, and we broke up when I moved to Chicago almost two and a half years ago. After a few months apart, we decided to get back together and spent the last two Christmases in Chicago. Together. I haven’t seen him in a year, but the holiday season has still been bittersweet this year. I debated not getting a tree this Christmas but didn’t want to miss out on something that I love. So I carried my tree home and up four flights of stairs. I strung the lights and placed each ornament on the tree on my own. It wasn’t the same. It was a little sad. But that’s ok because it was mostly wonderful, and in the end, I’m glad I did it.

Two years ago, I threw a Christmas party and invited a few new friends including ms. Alaina Kaczmarski who I knew through the blog world. We actually met for the first time that evening. Last night I threw my second Christmas party and found myself surrounded by some truly wonderful friends. And of course, Alaina was there. A girl who was just an acquaintance two years ago and who is now one of my best friends and my business partner. So many of my CrossFit friends came to the party. After 7 short months, these people (especially the girls) have become like family to me. I love them dearly. It turns out that I am less alone than I’ve ever been. It may not be how I pictured it, but I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

As I mentioned recently, I will be spending Christmas in Chicago. I need to be here with my little Buddy. I need to enjoy Christmas in my city, have lots of work to do next week, go to CrossFit, and spend time with my friends. I was certain that spending the
holidays with a family that wasn’t my own would be kind of sad, but I am
actually looking forward spending Christmas Eve with Alaina and her
family. Just like getting the tree by myself, it will be different, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be wonderful.

I would like to end this post with a quote by Abby Larson, the founder of Style Me Pretty. We had the pleasure of meeting Abby when we photographed her for The Everygirl. She was so, so sweet to us, and I’ll never forget the moment her Q&A came in via email. I was walking home and read this quote with a smile on my face and tears in my eyes. I know that it was written for our readers, but in that moment, it felt like she was speaking to me. I needed those words. I still need them.

Breathe, my friend. You are not old, you are young. You are not a mess,
you are normal. Extraordinary, perhaps. In the blink of an eye your life
will change. And it will continue to change for decades to come. Enjoy
it, embrace it…be grateful for the ride. You are not old, you are young.
And faith will get you everywhere. Just you wait.

I am counting my many, many blessings this Christmas.

Thank you to my friends for celebrating with me last night. I love you all more than words can say.

And Chicago–thank you for the snow. I really needed it.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! xx

photo via

  • Maite

    I'm sure you are going to have a wonderful time. Sometimes we think we are "alone" by our standards but we miss all the amazing people we have around us and we should be grateful for them.

    I wish you a very Feliz Navidad from Barcelona πŸ™‚ and hope the 2013 is full of more great things coming your way

    un abrazo


  • lauren

    Wonderful post and beautiful words to live by. Have a wonderful Christmas. Everything is how it should be.

  • Tiffany @ Savor Home

    What a beautiful quote. I have to remind myself daily of many things that you mentioned in this wonderful post. I hope you and Buddy have a great Christmas. I can't wait to see what the new year has in store for you!

  • Megan Breehl

    great post, Danielle! Wishing you a merry christmas πŸ™‚

  • pretty little things

    good for you girl! happiness comes from within — men are only accessories to an already fabulous outfit (ourselves) : )


  • jewel

    this post is precious beyond words. Happy Holidays to you.

  • Afsi

    lovely post. thank you for sharing.

  • Steph Sterjovski

    D! This made me well up with tears. I'm so glad you know you are not alone. You are so inspiring to many women for staying strong, and taking huge risks. A lot of people remain in their comfort zone. Happiness, excitement and life starts OUTSIDE of your comfort zone and I just know that even more blessings are yet to happen. Praying for you, and wishing you a peaceful Christmas! XOXO

  • ohraq

    you are never alone! I'm sure 2013 will bring great things to you πŸ™‚ That Abby Larson quote is my absolute favorite, it's my desktop background!

  • Lauren Hargrove

    What is crazy is that I am going through the exact same thing in Chicago. Just moved here and can't fly home to be with family due to work and a recent surgery… I have to say, if I was ever going to be alone on Christmas, this is the city to do it in. I plan on meeting a friend for some drinks, watching some football, walking around the beautiful city to see the lights, and FaceTiming with my family. The best part is that I will be thinking of and talking to those I love, and I don't have to talk to those that just come as part of the "holidays" package πŸ™‚ Oh, and now I get to breathe (surgery was to repair an extremely deviated septum).

    If you are interested in joining, let me know. I know that sounds like a date invitation, but hey, what better time to make new friends?

  • emily fitzgerald {once in a blue room}

    i absolutely love this post. have a wonderful holiday!!!

  • myboringcloset.com

    Thank you so much for sharing this and for sharing that quote. It really made my day! Last year, I spent last Christmas alone, and was so sad about it. I was invited by a close friend to have Christmas Eve dinner with her family, and it ended up being so wonderful! I think having these kinds of experiences are really good for us, even if we can't see it at the time. πŸ™‚ Merry Christmas, Danielle! xo Lacey

  • Gina

    Aw, D I love this post. You have so much to be thankful for in 2012 and I know next year will have so much more greatness in store for you! Love you. Merry Christmas!

  • Helena – A Diary of Lovely

    Pretty post Danielle, and you are lucky to have such great friends (and they are lucky too to have you)!! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays xx

  • sweet road

    It sounds great. Progress and learning to approach new situations can be daunting at times, but mostly thrilling. I hope you have a great, new holiday experience!

  • Chloe Moon

    What an inspiring quote! Have a safe trip to Chicago! Merry Christmas!! =)

    Ergo – Blog

  • Danielle Moss

    I love this. Thank you, Steph. Merry Christmas. xx

  • Danielle Moss

    Thank you for sharing this with me. I actually came to terms with the fact that I may be alone this Christmas and knew that it would make me stronger. If I can move across country by myself, surely I can survive the holidays πŸ™‚ Merry Christmas to you too! xx

  • Danielle Moss

    Love you back. Merry Christmas! Can't wait for our Christmas Cheer tonight!!

  • Sara {Sara’s Closet}

    What a beautiful quote and post, Danielle. I'm so glad you bought that tree and decorated it, and even more glad that you had a feeling of joy in your heart doing it πŸ˜‰ Merry Christmas to you…I am sure it will be one to always remember.

  • Sara {Sara’s Closet}

    What a beautiful quote and post, Danielle. I'm so glad you bought that tree and decorated it, and even more glad that you had a feeling of joy in your heart doing it πŸ˜‰ Merry Christmas to you…I am sure it will be one to always remember.

  • A Big Little Life

    You are never alone when you have friends and family a phone call, plane ride, or jaunt on the el train away! Cheers to moving onwards and upwards as well : ) Merry Christmas!

  • Julie Leah

    Such a beautiful quote. Thank you so much for sharing, Danielle! Have a wonderful Christmas, lady! xx

  • Lauren Maxwell

    Danielle, thanks for your heartfelt, authentic post. I work for Abby at SMP and she is such a doll. I love those words from her. πŸ™‚ Enjoy your weekend and your tree!

    Lauren @ Flee to the Cleve

  • Jackie

    I love this post, and I agree, I LOVE that quote from Abby. I've gone back to her feature multiple times since it was posted. She's just so inspiring! Merry Christmas, Danielle! And thank you thank you for making my 2012 so much better and having me as an intern. It's been so much fun. πŸ™‚

  • H. Zajac

    Love this post and the quote. Happy Holidays!

  • Lauren

    "it will be different, but that doesn't mean it won't be wonderful. " so very very true. Love this post, Danielle. Thank you for sharing and have a wonderful holiday!

  • Will @ Bright.Bazaar

    Thank you, Danielle, for writing such a wonderful blog. It is truly one of my favourite reads and I really hope we will be able to meet in person one day soon. Have a lovely Christmas with Alaina and here's to a happy, healthy and successful 2013.

  • Alison

    You have been such an inspiration to me this entire year! Seriously. I, too, am "alone" but I'm the happiest I've ever been. Reading your blog has encouraged me to do what I love doing and not let anyone get in my way.

  • Yanira Garza

    Thank you so much for sharing something so personal and yet so inspiring with us. Merry Christmas…to you and your little Buddy. πŸ˜‰

  • Julie S.

    What a great quote. Have a very Merry Christmas!

  • Hilary Kennedy

    Thank you for writing such a heartfelt, honest post. Though it's a little different, I lost both of my grandparents this month (to whom I was very close,) and it has completely changed the holiday season for my family and for me. We went from a group of five to only three, and it's been a hard truth to swallow. However…. it's in these still, quiet, and somewhat lonely moments that I can say we figure out who we really are and how precious this life is. I'm glad you've had such successful year and I wish you a blessed and relaxing Christmas. Thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs with those of us who read your blog! πŸ™‚

  • C.

    Wow. I had no idea that stumbling upon this blog today, Christmas Eve as I sit alone, sick with the flu would make me smile and breathe again. That quote is amazing and though I am missing having that someone special to share it with after a recent divorce, my family for fear of spreading germs and being too sick to get out of bed, I feel less alone. Thank you and Merry Christmas. Tears are in my eyes, but tears of hope.

  • Danielle Moss

    I have no words. I read this comment on Christmas Eve and almost started crying. I am sorry that you've had to go through the pain of a divorce but know that there are such better things ahead for you. Thank you for sharing your story with me. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Feel better. xx

  • lisa lehmann

    beautifully written. thinking of you. the future is very very bright!

  • Rachel Andre

    Thank you for being so transparent and open. You're strong and beautiful. The best is yet to come and when rocky times come I find comfort in knowing that God will never allow something to come our way that we can't handle. Good things are heading your way!

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